Word.. Blogger is with Google now? Cool..
Lots since my last post...
August - Rosemary and Cole broke up...
October was a horrible month equaling the end of Ronald and I. Broke up all because he stayed at Laura's house when he had absolutely no reason to. We lived 5 seconds apart from her house.. he could have walked his happy ass home at 5 in the morning. He just didn't want to be with me and you knew it. So I kicked his ass out after he kept staying the night there instead of talking it out and he moved in with her and Mike.
November was a great bad month with KJ and I getting together. Ronald and I both finding out we're fucking other people so soon already. His person being Laura.. The person who said at least once everytime we hung out on how him and I shouldn't be together and that she didn't and never will like him.
December was okay... Went to Gold Beach with KJ. Met the love of his life... Annie. She is awesome. Met his best friend Nick. He was hot. Yea.. Felt like a third wheel the whole time I was there..
January KJ broke up with me at the end of the month... Cause he was telling people he wanted to break up while avoiding me, instead of telling me, over Myspace. Pulling a Nathanael.. Dyed my hair black and cut it short. Brokedown over Ronald and him. Never really had time to cry over Ronald. Found out that Laura proposed to him and he said yes. Got pissed because we were together for a year when I started talking about it and he thought I had issues on wanting getting married and he fucking said yes to her after 2 fucking months. Always talked about punching me in the stomach if I ever got pregnant with his baby, yet she has a kid and she wants his fucking baby and he has no problems. Always called me a whore because I said I love you to all of my boyfriends. Yet, she fucks 13 people including a married man and she is a goddess?
February was okay.. I was getting used to being alone and then KJ took me back out of jealousy of Chris and Matt... Tells me I can't tell him I love him anymore. Yeah.. slow. Turtle slow..
March is not to great. KJ starts talking to Laura. The only good thing to come of that is nothing. I get pissed when he starts talking about talking with her.. She doesn't need to know about my fucking life which is what he will talk about with her.. But the only good thing to come of it is the fact that she bitches about Ronald telling her no. Laura, if you ever find this, just know
RONALD NEVER TOLD ME NO! HAHAHA! I bet he misses my sex. I gave him everything. I gave him everything, even if I didn't really want to, Why? Because I really fucking loved him. I made sacrifices like you do for people when you love them. And
that isn't a big sacrifice. Oh well. Whatever. He misses me. Tells you no. lol@u
Cole came over today and flaunted Caitlyn's new ring..It was a beautiful ring. Apparently they are getting married. Wow. Deja Vu? Wait.. wait... So.. Rosemary and I's ex boyfriends leave us the same year after a 3 year relationship for Ronald and I an a 2 year relationship for Rosemary and Cole... and then go on to get engaged the people they start dating AFTER us? In less than half a year of being with those people after us..? And they dated us for 2-3 years...? Claimed they loved us and wanted to marry us eventually... Yeah.. Guys are full of shit.
Rosemary and I are even more of best friends now than ever.. Cause it's kind of fucked up that it is happening to both of us.. We both warned the other about the others' boyfriend.. We didn't listen... I'm being dumb not listening to her about KJ.. I know it's gonna hurt when shit goes down again with him.. But I am just being dumb and not listening because I don't want to be alone.. But you know... Being alone now would be a lot less painful than KJ finding some girl a year from now and THEN breaking it off with me. But oh well, My stupidity.. not hers..
I love you hippie.. BEST FRIENDS MEANS! BEST FRIENDS MEANS!
Labels: Something so unforgivable..
# posted by
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9:33 PM |
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
*sighs* SO!
A lot has happened this the last update. Met a few friends. Rekindled with old ones. Lost some of the new ones, but who needs them? n00bs. Just hanging out with some friens almost everyday so.. I'm happy to say the least.
My relationship.. Wow. I love the boy to death. I really do. He just doesn't seem to get how to make me happy though. Stopped having sex for a long ass time cause of issues with trust. I cheated and he didn't trust me. I didn't want to have sex with him until he did. So yeah. o_O; We had sex and it was AWWESOME! Loved it.
Then yesterday.. Found a shitload of porn on his computer. And in this nasty folder laid our stuff as well. What message that gave me was, "I'm just a piece of trash, like all these sluts, to him in his mind." Wow. I feel so fucked up right now that I don't know what to think about it anymore. I picture him and I having sex and it just turns into those nasty ass porn videos I looked 5 seconds into and I just feel disgusted.
It makes me feel so wonderful to know that he doesn't love me anymore. Enough to go back on his promise he made to me before we even started dating. That is what set him apart from all the other guys.. That he
wouldn't look at it. He promised
before we even dated. Now he is just like every other guy I've dated. Some asshole who doesn't give a shit about me. Well at least he isn't saying otherwise. He isn't going to even try to save himself or this relationship.. It's so awesome. No explanation on his part. Just immediately start sleeping on the couch. Which is good because right now, I don't want to even TOUCH him.. *sighs*
So I sort of plotted that I may stay with Daddy for 2 weeks.. Because.. I just need to get away from Ronald right now. Maybe he will realize how bad(or maybe good in his mind) it is that I would be gone. But somehow, I just don't think he would care. He would love it if I left. Because then it would be quiet and peaceful and he could watch his fucking porn all day long. But then I'm afraid that if I stay away for 2 weeks, I'd be scared to come back. That I would be too comfortable being alone and not near him that it would be nerve wrecking coming back home. Just like it was sort of nerve wrecking having sex after not having sex for 3 months. Dilemma.
And Rosemary would probably HATE being alone in the house with him.. Since she doesn't really like him that much. But then again, they would just stay away from each other sitting on their computers in their seperate rooms. Not really talk.. Probably have KJ and Nathanael over to keep her company.. ~_~ *sighs*
All of this.. Just because of fucking porn. Talk about being a drama queen. But did I ever tell you.. How much I think Porn is degrading and disgusting and filthy and just plain sick? Yeah. I know. It's JUST PORN right? Not to me. Sorry. My opinion. And when I am told that he agrees with how I think and that he would stop watching it and goes on TO watch it, saving it on his computer 3 fucking times... Wow. Fucking pisses me off and stabs me in the heart over and over.
It only means his feeling for me is faded and now practically gone because he wants to think what he thinks that I think about him is absolutely correct. Because somehow he magically thinks for me and doesn't fucking talk to me about JACK SHIT and fucking assumes how I feel. "all you women are the same." So I'm a piece of trash just like your fucking slutty porn girls right? Fuck you.. Just fuck you. I'm out.
# posted by
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11:03 PM |
Wednesday, December 28, 2005
Moved into an apartment in Springfield. Yay! Ronald and I are at our better ties of the relationship. Sorta. Better than before. O_o; Not much arguing about stupid slutty whores that tried to take over last year.. and no talking of another whore he seems to crush on. I keep that to myself and express myself in Sims 2.. I plan on letting the two starve to death.. >>; I think it will be funny. XD Man I'm cruel. :) Oh well.
So we're in Springfield now and Rosemary is gonna move over here and shits. My computer owns cause I can watch TV on it.. >>! But lately I've been using our T1 connection to download animes.. ^_^ But yeah. Not much has been happening. Slowly setting the place up.. and getting everything put away. Slowly but surely. Oh well. That is all that has happened.. o_o;
# posted by
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12:46 AM |
Sunday, May 29, 2005
I hate her..
That is all.
# posted by
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2:37 AM |
Thursday, May 26, 2005
Wow, I haven't been on here in forever.. o_o; Too many bad memories on this thing, that's why. :)
Well, here comes another. I guess this is my "Lets vent all bad stuff onto it." O.o;
Work sucks. As always. Ronald is started his talking to other girls crap. No cheating(To my knowledge). As usual, when he does this, he completely ignores me, every comment I make he snaps back at me and defends his "new love" if you will. And yeah.. Talks to her every waking moment of the day while sitting right next to his gf. Everything I talk about in anything he barks at me. I can be talking about gossip like today. Brad pitt dumping Jennifer because he wanted family. They both wanted kids... Why the hell would you dump someone if they want the same thing as you? That is bullshit. That can't be the reason you dumped Jennifer. I tell him this and he goes, "All you see is black and white sabrina. You never see anything in between. No one is the same Sabrina."
Now, I know that since we're siting right next to each other doing what we happily do.. Sitting on teh computer all day.. O.o;, We could at least talk right? Wrong. I'm sitting here bored out of my mind trying to find something to do besides polls on Gaia, while he is laughing his ass off talking to his new friend. None of my friends are ever on or they NEVER TALK ROSEMARY! :P Does he try to talk to me? Rarely.. Why should I try to talk if I will just ruin his fun? everytime I open my mouth he barks.
Now his name on MSN is "Why do you ignore me? Why do you show no interest?" I ask him who it is to. Well obviously me because, I haven't talked with him in a day or too. He just assumes I hate him and crap. When he hasn't asked my feelings on him barking at me or him not trying to talk with me either. Talking to this other girl all fucking day. Telling me if he doesn't find a job he will move up there, "Because it's not healthy for him here." Because they keep telling him it's not healthy for him here.. I've put up with it all my life.
But is that really the reason? Are you sure you don't want to move there to be with someone you like better? I'm sorry to seem so jaded but... I'm wary now. Very eyes open when you are with girls. No more blind shit saying, "He won't cheat on me." Why would I say that if you've done it once. Remember Ronald, "Just cause you're married/in a relationship doesn't stop you from liking another person and going after them." I'm escpecially wary when you call ME Erica. You should know the difference. But you don't because you talk with her ALL DAMN DAY and don't even say a word to me.. When I try to start something you bark about how I'm forcing my shit on them, or looking in black and white.
I bet it feels good having someone to talk to. I don't want to ruin it for you. It is probably better than talking with someone who constantly bitches all the time and shoves her depressive crap on you. At least you have someone to bitch to. I guess I just have to make new friends. But oh well. I guess this is supposedly how you felt last year when I was supposedly ignoring you because Rosemary was here.. But it seems so familiar.. Because you're ignoring me.. But this time you're not talking with Amanda. It's Erica.
# posted by
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10:35 AM |
Friday, January 14, 2005
Whoa.. o_o; LJ is having major problems... hmm.. Oh well..
I tried to use the restore points on my computer with XP.... the internet stopped working. And...the processes I was trying to get rid of, well.. they were still there so I decided to undo the restore. ~_~ Damn thing... Oh well.. All is good now. Bleh.. o_o; I'm bored... I have a stuffy nose... xx; It's like... it's so stuffy, I can't sniffle so it's runny at the same time. ~_~ *kicks nose and bleeds* T_T; Oh well.. I'll get better.
Rosemary is talking about coming back to stay with us for awhile.. She has to take her CNA class again cause she didn't do it before she left.. ~_~; Otherwise, she would be able to just start working again. o_o; But oh well.. she will have to sleep in the trailer... Put a heater out there for her for the night.. ~_~; And then she'll have to like... go to school and get her CNA this time.. :P Oh well.. x.x That's future planning.
Ronald is registering and he might go to South Lane Academy to finish HS. He only needs 2 credits and yeah... Hopefully all his credits transfer so he can just take his 2 classes. :) He is also looking for a job. :) Hopefully he can find one T_T. Hopefully I can find one too.. I have bills to pay. ~_~; But yeah. Hopefully all of this goes well.. x.x; I can do stuffs and go to school Spring term.. Yes yes.. Retake all the classes I failed.. ~~; But it's all good. Then I can have the schedule I had at CCC. XD Weekends. :) Unless I can take some days too.. That would be nice. :) hehe yeah.. oh well.. back to Gaia now..
# posted by
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11:00 PM |
